Bora Bora? No, I'm not a Kardashian..

I'm currently getting ready to head to Charlotte and dance my face off to Dave Matthews all night.  But seeing as today is Wedding Wednesday, I figured I would talk about some of the wedding pressure I've been feeling lately.  And by talk about it, I mean joke about it to release some of my tension.  And yes, I am saying all of this as a bride-to-be.  Just facing the facts ladies.  You're welcome.

 As a guest, you are required to do and buy a lot of things.  For example, if you're a 'close friend/bridesmaid/groomsman'...you are stuck dishing out shit tons a lot of cash for various wedding celebrations.  

1. Bachelor/Bachelorette Party and/or Weekend

Depending on the intensity of your bridal party...you could find yourself in a jet setting situation.  A close friend of mine is getting married this fall, and I was asked to come to her Bachelorette party in Chicago.  The answer to that question was a no...unfortunately I don't have an extra grand to throw at a few days in Chi-town when I can't even afford to fully stock my fridge most weeks.

2.  Showers

Don't even get me started on showers.  I hate them with every inch of my being.  The second I got engaged I told my mother and maid of honor that if they attempted to throw me a shower I wouldn't show up.  Showers make me extremely uncomfortable...and let's face it, no one wants to be there.  Harsh, yes, but it is reality.  I do not want to sit in a circle and watch you open 6 pots, 15 monogrammed towels and some fucking damn cutting boards.  Nope, no thank you, not one bit.

  

3.  Wedding Attire

If you are part of the wedding party, then you are forced into spending money on a dress or tux, shoes, outfits for the rehearsal, for the bachelor/bachelorette, for the showers...the list goes on and on.  And as a guest, you still might be invited to these other parties and then have to find some acceptable outfit to wear to the actual wedding.  And god help us all if it's black tie.

4.  Gifts

Depending on how involved you are...there could be a need for multiple gifts for said wedding.  And no, they didn't register for anything in the $0-$50 category.  Sorry.

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5.  Travel

If you are lucky, the wedding you are attending is near your house and you don't have to worry about finding a way to get there.  But for most of us, travel is involved.  Expensive plane tickets and hotel rooms, rental cars, taking vacation days...

If you are the one stuck planning the actual wedding...then you're probably already familiar with the crazy amount of stress that comes along with it.  And I do this for a living!

1. Expenses

Umm...who the hell decided to make weddings so damn expensive?  My fiance and I are refusing to let my parents pay for the entire wedding...and damnnn this shit ain't cheap.  How people seriously spend like $40k on a wedding just blows my mind.  It is basically a 6 hour party..and then it's over and you are poor.

2.  Unsolicited Advice

'Wow, thank you for suggesting we get married at the pool hall in your town!  I will absolutely keep that in mind, as our 37th backup option.'

'When you got married your bridesmaids wore elbow length gloves?  And I can borrow them?  Heyyy thanks.'

'Why are we spending money on an open bar?  Oh, I don't know...to help ourselves deal with people like you.'

'You bought a white dress to wear to the rehearsal dinner?  So we could be matching?  How thoughtful.'

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3.  #SweatingForTheWedding

I hate the gym.  I like double cheeseburgers.  And vodka.  And whiskey.  ENOUGH SAID.

4.  Facebook and Instagram

Yes, summer is 'Wedding Season'...but if I see one more lavish affair followed by a two week vacation to St. Lucia I might have to throw my computer/iPhone through the window.  Brings me back to point numero uno...where you getting all that damn money.  St. Lucia?  Bora Bora?  Unfortunately, my last name isn't Kardashian.

Any other fellow brides feeling stressed and overwhelmed like I am?  I know you're out there!