Thinking Back

I was silent today for a lot of reasons...I was busy at work, exhausted from the weekend and had a brain full of too many things.  Friday I found out at work that my company is having some serious money issues...which made me very concerned about my current work situation.  Definitely caused some stress over the past few days so I have decided that instead of wait around for something bad to happen, I am going to hit the ground running in the job search department.

Friday after work we took a walk to the beach since the weather was so nice and I was able to sit back and clear my head for a while.  I am so lucky to live as close as we do to the beach because it really is the most amazing place to just go and relax.

On Saturday, I had my first wedding of the season.  It was absolutely pouring, so that definitely put a damper on things, but we still had a beautiful day and the bride and groom were very happy!  Our bride actually did her own centerpieces...and they were gorgeous!

Saturday night Ross and I went out to my favorite bar, Junction, and met up with some of our friends.  That night was equally stressful - I found out when we were on our way to the bar that my ex was there...my college ex of five years, the one who completely crushed my life and my entire world before I met Ross.  We saw each other in October at a wedding, but that was the first time in about three and a half years and surprisingly, it ended up not going badly.  On Saturday, I was stressed out and drank too much and then we ended up having a drunken, late night convo that I half remember.  

Seeing him brings back the most insane wave of emotions in me.  When my friend told me he was there, it was like a brick had just been throw directly at my chest and I couldn't breathe for a minute.  It's funny though, I work myself up so much and then when it happens it isn't half bad..  It is still overwhelming and filled with too much emotion and awkward energy, but the fact that we are actually able to hold a conversation that Ross is also a part of is shocking.  I am having a tough time getting it out of my head, which happened to me the last time too, because I always have had such an emotional connection to that part of my life.  Moving on is a strange thing...when someone is out of sight, it really does help to keep them and the things that happened, out of mind.  But seeing a face that brings back so many memories and emotions, both good and bad, can be really difficult.  I just have to focus on the amazing person I have in front of me, living my life with me, and forget the things that I have left in my past.

Sunday we had to go to a family party and despite my hangover, I was able to get my shit together and do some casual family socializing.

We also got our new Moscow Mule mugs in the mail which I am thrilled about!  They really add such a fun change to the bart cart.

I am ready for this week to be over and to finally get some sleep after a few sleepless nights this weekend.  Check in for some Wedding Wednesday updates tomorrow ;)